Futureman unable to see future, blames Obama administration

"I have seen the future clearly for years," said Futureman, who resides in Northfield, Connecticut, "but now, thanks to the Obama administration, my psychic powers all messed up."  Futureman gained fame two years ago when he foresaw but failed to prevent the suicide of the local high school principal.  "I never really liked him," said Futureman after the incident, when asked why he did not intervene.