Businesses, for whatever reason, that failed

Veterinary Services, Michael Vick, DVM

Kanye West School of Etiquette

Career Counseling Services, by Michael Crabtree's cousin

Ear, Nose, and Throat Clinic, Mike Tyson, MD

Tai Chi with Bob Knight

Brett Favre Retirement Home

John Daly Fitness Center

The Allen E. Iverson Practice Facility

Free Throw Clinic, with Shaquille O'Neal

Clean and Sober Clinic, with Billy Gillispie

Poll: US does not need health care reform

A new poll shows a majority of Americans think the health care system is great, affordable, and not in need of any changes.*

*Poll included Americans whose net wealth equaled or exceeded 1.2 million dollars.

Scientists Discover Cure for Obesity

Researchers have discovered a plan that could ward off obesity.  In scientific jargon, the plan is called 'stop putting too much food in your mouth'.  In a variety of clinical trials, subjects that did not put too much food in their mouth were able to avoid obesity.  The FDA has yet to approve the plan, but could do so as quickly as this century.

WNN Interviews Blue Dog Democrat (BDD)

WNN:  Ok, let’s get straight to the big issue – health care.  Where do you stand on this?

BDD:  I oppose Barack Obama’s health care plan and his whole radical progressive agenda.  He has been a disaster for this country, definitely one of the worst presidents of all time.

WNN:  But you supported Obama for president, right?

BDD:  No way!  I voted for John McCain

WNN:  And you’re a Democrat, right?

BDD:  Yes, I am.  I was even chair of the local party.  You see the Democratic Party is a big-tent party.  There is certainly room for people who do not support any of the party’s policies or candidates. 

WNN:  What do you favor?

BDD:  I’m a George W. Bush, Ronald Reagan Democrat.  I favor Republican ideas, Republican policies, and Republican candidates.  

Woman expecting 19th child, unsure why she keeps getting pregnant

Michelle Duggar is expecting once again.  She and her husband, Jim Bob, are unsure why she keeps getting pregnant.  "It's weird," said Jim Bob, "we don't want no kids."  Michelle agreed, "I'm sick and tired of this and would stop getting pregnant if I could, but for some reason, it keeps happening."

Man Figures Out Meaning of Life, But Won't Tell

Jim Hartman, a physicist at the University of Montana-Missoula, has figured out the meaning of life.  For years Hartman, along with other researchers, has been conducting tests into one of humanity's peskiest problems - what does it all mean?  Hartman discovered the answer in his lab late last Thursday, but now says he won't tell anyone.

Futureman unable to see future, blames Obama administration

"I have seen the future clearly for years," said Futureman, who resides in Northfield, Connecticut, "but now, thanks to the Obama administration, my psychic powers all messed up."  Futureman gained fame two years ago when he foresaw but failed to prevent the suicide of the local high school principal.  "I never really liked him," said Futureman after the incident, when asked why he did not intervene.

President encourages kids to stay in school, GOP outraged!

"How dare he!," exclaimed GOP chair Michel Steele, "how dare he!"  "The President has no business encouraging kids like this," continued Steele, "if these kids are not careful they could end up graduating from high school and possibly even college someday."